Finding My Voice（１）　　　　　　　Introduction

Nice to meet you.

I am a 51-year-old woman, an ordinary, everyday woman of the Showa generation. I married in my mid-twenties, had children in my twenties, and have balanced part-time work with housework ever since. My children are now grown and working. One of our two sons lives with my husband and me, while the other lives far away.

As the title suggests, I am currently considering a divorce. I hear that one-third of couples in society today get divorced, and I am thinking of joining their ranks. When married women reach their fifties, their physical strength declines, and various aches and pains start to appear. It is not uncommon for them to think, "Child-rearing is over, the kids are grown, so from now on I'll take it easy and spend time on my own hobbies," perhaps looking into a more relaxed way of working.

Yet, I intentionally chose a path of working that places a heavy burden on myself. This month, I am becoming a full-time employee. I chose this because I realized I do not want to spend the rest of my long life with my husband.

It has been twenty-five years since I married. However, three years into our marriage our child was born, and about six years after that, I gave up on expecting anything from my husband. As I managed to muddle through day by day, my heart was gradually worn down by him, and I grew disappointed by his coldness, leading to where I am now. From the next post onward, I would like to talk about how I wore down my heart and how I made peace with myself along the way.

My husband is a man given to emotional abuse. To escape his control, I want to share the story of how I struggled and fought my way through.

I have not yet achieved my divorce. However, in reaching the feeling that I want a divorce, I have taken action—talking with various people to gain insights and utilizing various public services. If my story can serve as a reference for anyone suffering from emotional abuse and considering divorce—especially for younger readers who still have a long life ahead of them—I would be truly happy.

Next story:
Finding My Voice（2）　　　　　　The Path We Walked【1】｜Cristal
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