【EN】 Hey, Sergei — A Near-Death Comedy

By Senon Wakamiya
【EN】

“Hey, Sergei. I think I’m done for.”

What’re you talkin’ about, Catherine? Get a grip.
We turn that corner and Florida’s right there.

“I’m sure I’m dying. Look how much blood I’m losing.”

Well yeah, that’s what happens when you get sprayed by a machine gun.
Just close your eyes for a sec.
Ah hell, tried to hit the blinker and turned on the wipers.

“Hey, Sergei. Smile for me. One last time.”

Don’t say “last time,” man.

“Smile.”

…Like this?

“That’s a fake smile.”

You asked me to smile!

“I want you to smile like a wildflower blooming quietly in a meadow—gentle, delicate, fleeting.”

A wildflower?? Uh… like this?

“That’s the smile of a monkey.”

Give me another order then.

“Okay… Do the face you’d make if you said, ‘I know we can’t stay friends, and we can’t go back to being lovers. But please—call this sincerity my eternal first love.’ ”

…Like this?

“That’s just your normal face.”

Then you do that thing. You know, that one.

“Sergei, I’m literally dying right now.”

Do the face for:
As I take this in my hands—this blue, fading thing—I vanish while still loving you…
That one.

“Like this?”

Pffft.

“Why are you laughing?”

I dunno, it’s just… you’re dyin’ and that face is hilarious.

“Sergei… I really think I’m done for.”

Don’t say that, Catherine. Vegas is practically around the corner.

“Do you think heaven has sky-blue water?”

Dunno about sky-blue water, but they probably got hot springs.

“So heaven’s for old people, then.”

Most folks do die old.

“Do you think I’ll see the people who passed away?”

I mean… yeah? Pretty sure that’s the whole deal.

“Good… I’ll get to see my mom.”

Your mom ain’t dead! I just met her the other day. She was fine!

“How meaningless.”

Ain’t nothin’ meaningful to begin with.

“Next time I’m born… I want to be an ointment.
A noble ointment… healing everyone’s wounds…”

Catherine. Oh hell. You dyin’? You dyin’ on me?

“Oh—by ointment I don’t mean the comedian Nankō—”

You’re not dyin’.

(End)

SENON ARCHIVE -まとめのまとめ-

Contents (EN)
① Gogyouka (Five-Line Poems)
② Transformation Begins in the Body (walking / meals / notebook)
③ Sergei (dialogue series)
④ Dialogues & Inner Comedy
⑤ Declaration / Meta

Index (EN):

GOGYŌKA-EN

他言語版 / Other languages

【JP】Japanese:

【FR】Français：

【ZH-简】简体中文：

【ZH-繁TW】繁體中文（台灣）：

【PT-BR】Português (Brasil)：

【ES】Español：